Observations Round 2.3 – Inside Job

I am applying for a passport ID card to have as an alternate form of ID.  I grabbed my old passport book by mistake and I found an extra copy of my passport photo taken when I renewed my passport book in 2014.  The timing of this find is good.  Why?  It became clear to me that despite my current challenges on my journey, the progress I have made is unmistakable.  The reminder is a good one.  The reminder is a needed one.  Having to put down my current pair of jeans is also a reminder.

The reminder is I need to be more deliberate.  Embracing my struggle, dealing with my drift, I came across the following meme that is right on time:

when a habit emerges

My brain has only been partially participating in decisions making.  I have not been deliberately fighting for my new habits 100 percent of the time.  And yes, it was easy for the old patterns to creep in here and there.  Enough creep to result in going up one size.  I shall accept the challenge of renewed deliberateness.  The challenge of  the time, the practice, the repetition, and the awareness which overwriting my old habits and patterns will require.   Anyone familiar with how computer hard drives are erased may understand.

If you want to completely erase a hard drive, it’s not as easy as deleting everything on it. How to Completely Erase a Hard Drive gives a great description:

To truly erase hard drive data forever, you’ll have to take some extra steps.

When you format a hard drive you don’t actually erase the hard drive data, you only erase the location of the information for the data, making it “lost” to the operating system. Since the operating system can’t see the data, the drive looks empty when you look at its contents.

However, all the data is still there and, unless you truly erase the hard drive, the original data can be recovered.

A data destruction program is a piece of software designed to overwrite a hard drive so many times, and in a certain way as to make the ability to extract information from the drive nearly impossible.

Using this context, my journey is effectively me overwriting MY hard drive.  Continuously reinforcing and creating new habits, new “brain documents” in such volume that my old ones essentially become deleted.  Do the work to overwrite those old files.  Doing the hard work.

Of course, a program outside of myself cannot be purchased to achieve this.  Deliberately building new habits, consistently making deliberate choices, and overwriting my old habits IS and inside job!

I may not be where I want to be but I am not where I was.  Not by a long shot.

More to come…..